Todays discovery; Fake animals

A gentleman rake understands the need for untruth. the art of deceit is a noble endeavor when applied within the proper ethical boundaries. Today however I of course am referring to the lies of the biologist, the fictions of the zoologist, the deception of the natural sciences. In short kangaroos are fake. I've given this manner careful consideration. These so called animals represent a paradox that flys in the face of logic.

How can something be so cute and so good at boxing?

The answer is they cannot. The gentlemanly art of pugilism is of course a fine and cultured affair but it is undertaken by burly and rough and tumble sorts. Fine souls indeed but beetle brows and broad shoulders are the order of the day, not soft and downy fur and liquid brown eyes that melt your soul.
The kangaroo has other mythical qualities that out it as a bogus creature. Their pouch for their young, entire generations named joey, their homeland a tiny and lost continent named Austrlantis or some such and the ability to type 300 words a minute. All of these facts are seemingly well documented, but I cry false good readers, I cry false.
I beseach the scholastic community to put kanagroos back where they belong, the dusty tomes of cryptozoology, fairy tales and dreams.